Love Wes Anderson, Love This

Someone sent me this today (as a link, not the actual work - I wish!!).



Just one piece would be lovely wouldn't it? But Alex Cornell has produced a plethora of Anderson related gorgeousness. Check it all out. A university project by the looks of it. Wowsers.

(Hope he doesn't mind me sharing it).

Creative Director Competition Result

It actually appears that they have gone for option a

Appoint a CD who inspires, fights and leads!

Early doors yet, but signs are good.

Three Amazing Headlines...

...that I've seen today:

Freckle-handed Paedophile Jailed

Man Says Wombat Rape Led To Accent Change

Mutant Squirrels Invade UK

Creative Director Competition

The place where I work will be getting a new CD this week.

I, like most of the creatives in the agency, see it as an opportunity. Although the bloke who is leaving is a great guy, we need the bloke coming in to be a great CD.

I need it for my career. The agency needs it because we don't get anywhere near enough good work out the door.

So, here is a priceless opportunity for the agency, will they:

(a) Grasp the nettle and appoint a CD who inspires, leads, fights suits

(b) Appoint a CD who is merely a Yes Man, showing face but merely seeing out the latter days of his career

(c) Appoint a suit who is just pretending to be a CD

(d) Other

The answer will be published in about a week.

Magnolia In The Lounge & Rape In The Bedroom

On my way to work this morning I saw a decorators van. The company name was Touch-Ups. Their slogan:

"I've been touched up today"

Made me smile. Won't be ringing them though.

Make An Agency Hand Sign Challenge

'Stacking'...'Throwing Up'

At some point in your life you've probably done it. Probably badly if you're a middle-class honky from a northern town in England. I'm talking about gang signs...





Yes, that does say blood. . . Aint nuffin cooler than dat shit rite der.


Here's a blog version. . .

Well shoot me with a 9mm if throwing a gang sign doesn't perfectly lend itself to the weird world of ad agencies and their intialized company names.

So here's a challenge: try to make a hand sign for your agency. Get one of your dawgs to snap that shit and send it to me at hairingtons@yahoo.co.uk

The best agency hand sign will win a special prize that is yet undetermined, but could be something cool like a crack pipe or yellow bandana.

Deadline: 28th February 2009 (Agencies with normal names can improvise and enter too)

And don't worry, if you don't wanna get caught my the Five-O or the erm HR department, you don't have to identify yourself to me or on the blog if you don't want to, though I'll treat you all with discretion.

Get stacking.

North vs South

A recent chart on Scamp got me a bit angry. The age-old South is better than North debate was struck up by means of the Top 50 agencies list, which Scamp then converted to also show the creative output of said agencies.

Not much argument with the list. But you've got to ask the question why many of the Northern agencies don't have the creative output their Southern counterparts?

It's not down to lack of creative people. That's for sure.

Is it a difference in client base?

Is it a difference in spending power?

Is it a difference in the quality of the suits?

I don't know the answer, I wish I did. My gut tells me that it's a lack of good leadership and lack of people willing to actually serve their clients properly. Too many people are happy to sell in any idea, instead of selling in the best idea.

In recent weeks I have seen these ads on TV which have directly scuppered my own plans for ideas I had in my top draw.

Audi - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=N7ZsNieEUSY Not a particularly great ad, but I had that song attached to an idea of my own for a car ad. Scuppered.

Tmobile - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM Some people love it, some people hate it. I wish they hadn't done it in a train station. But it is a good ad. Unfortunately for me, I had a 'flashmob' ad sold to a client and it was certainly a bigger and better event than this one, if I do say so myself. Scuppered.

I guess what I'm saying from my point of view is that there are creatives in the North who are banging out some really good ideas, but for whatever reason they aren't always seeing the light of day.

In a grass is greener kind of way, I always had this thought that difference between North & South was who had the power: suits or creative? I thought creative had more rights in London and so they get their work through.

It always seems kind of paradoxical that we have a load of creative people making ads and then suits or non-creatives are the ones with the final decision on what idea goes forward. I know agencies nowadays are supposed to have creative tea-ladies and creative receptionists and that ideas can come from anywhere - but we're kidding ourselves if we think that's true.

There's another problem inherent: the more suits and planners we employ, aren't we just chipping away at the creative teams' need to do their own thinking?

So, anyway, you end up with people who actually don't understand ideas, but look pretty, making decisions on the agencies final output. Nuts.

Engaging & Disengaging

Everyone has experienced that moment when you are walking along, happily minding your own business, then you notice some fucker coming towards you who is in your flight path!

Shit.

Is he gonna move?

Do you move?

How long should you wait til you move?

You edge one foot ever so slightly in a different direction, causing your body to shift and start upon a new trajectory.

Oh shit.

He's done the same. How awkward.

What the fuck do you do now?

Ding ding ding ding. I have the answer: You no longer need to suffer this humiliating scenario, you quite simply disengage.

The trick is to not get caught in the other walker's eyeline. I know you want to, but do not make eye contact. Never look at their feet. Just look away. Disengage. Only for a few seconds. By the time you return your head to normal position, the other walker will have removed themselves from your trajectory.

And if you want their attention, you do the opposite.

Originality

(click to biggerize)

A lovely postery type thing I found on ffffound.com , makes a good point about the age-old argument of originality.

Reminds me of that quote from that person I can't remember: All art is imitation.

Although I'm not exactly in agreement with the steal from anywhere sentiment. Borrow perhaps.

Durex Ad

Fun. And a line so obvious and simple that you make the 'duurr' noise to yourself whilst belming and wishing you'd put it to this product. Gotta like this.

The Greatest Spam Subject Lines I've Never Deleted - Part 2

Yes some of them are just weird fucked up shit, a string of keywords designed to get a hit. But that's the beauty of them really.

I like to think there's some crazed little spam monkey sat endlessly at his computer trying to fuse words together. And basically, that's what a good copywriter should do.

Barely a wasted word in these headlines.

Mysterious Assailant Stabs Luke Perry

A Small Penis Is Not Normal

Hit A Home Run In Her Mouth

Old Cock or New One?

Pills For Boys To Make Girls Happy

Nice Girl? Hard Boner

Be The Man With The Bang

The Breasts Of Lindsay Lohan

Killer Dogs Tear Intruder Apart

Britneys Vagina To Attend AA On Its Own

Godzilla Will Be Jealous

Bearded Ladyboarding Oregon Scientific Viral

Make Your Pants Dragon Huge And Rock Hard

This Will Be Your Song After S.E.X: We Are The Champions My Friend

Girls With Big Tits Like Big Peckers


And how true some of them are.

The Greatest Spam Subject Lines I've Never Deleted - Part 1

Some months ago I began saving my spam.

Not because I actually wanted a dinosaur sized penis that could pleasure a woman until her eyes popped out, all from the power of a $1 wonderpill. No. Because some of them are obviously perpetrated by brilliant copywriters, that's why.

So, sit back and take lesson in copywriting from the greatest spam subject lines you've never deleted. All genuine spam.

The Loin King

Stop Being A Fucking Loser

John McCain: “I Promise To Invade Your Vagina”

Brave Suicide Bomber Survives Blast

Upgrade Your Man Dignity

I Hope To Meet A Man Who Is As Lonely As Me To Create A Family With Him

Strong Private Parts To Bang Women

Lohan Sentenced To Swabbing Morgue Corpses

Boobs As Big As Balloons

Paris Hilton Ripe For Scientology Detox

Upsize Your Jackhammer

Ginger Lynn Is Torn

You Are In Mafia Blacklist

Britney Spears Pregnant With Antichrist

Dog Makes Love To Cat

Get Proud Being Humongous Ok


Another load of beauties coming your way tomorrow.

The Best Job In The World

(real life place not made up)



No not you, you dirty little ad wretch.

Apparently the best job in the world is open for applications, as reported in the Daily Mail. I don't frequent the Daily Mail online, by the way, it just caught my eye when my female was reading it, honest.

What could possibly be better than having my ideas inhaled by a finger-pointing, scrotum-shaving, boss-bumming bastard of an accounts man, who will promptly shit them all back out, I hear you scream?

How about being the caretaker of Hamilton Island off the Queensland Coast?

The salary equates to almost a grand an hour and your main responsibilties will include feeding turtles and counting how many farts you can perpetrate on any given day.

Yep, don't worry about the request for voluntary redundancy going round the office or the latest kick in the balls news story of a client going down the pan; there's still some fucking great jobs out there*.

In all seriousness, I bet my left nipple that some Big Brother winner's little sister who knows someone on X-factor wannabe celebrity ends up with the job - aka, a good looking bastard with shite for brains.

*This is the only one, you're doomed.

I'm Not French

I live and work somewhere in the UK.

I wasted far too much time trying to think of a name for a blog, so instead just plonked this phrase in, as it was stuck in my mind from a book I've just read called Little Brother by Cory Doctrow.

This is my new, fairly anonymous blog. The other was closed down by the Feds*.

I write about advertising.

I write about writing.

I write about random shit.

And I'll probably moan a bit, as everyone needs an outlet.

So, when something gets my goat, the first proper post will be coming soon.


*could have been HR